“In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own body but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great - but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians (5:28-32)
This morning instead of me writing a reflection, I am sharing with you a reflection I received from a good friend of mine in an email yesterday. His marriage is trying, he does not want a divorce, and we have have been talking and praying over it. His “Revelation” as he calls it speaks into the heart of Pauls words from the passage above. I was blessed and reminded of the high calling and holiness of marriage when I read it. I asked him if I could share it with others to remind them as well, leaving his and his wife’s name out of it of course, and he agreed. Here is the email he sent me.
“Gary,
I wanted to share with you a revelation I had this morning while praying. I also want to get it down in writing while I can, but I’m fighting A LOT of distractions this morning. Almost like someone doesn’t want me to dwell on this… Now who would do that? Maybe… SATAN?!?! (You have to picture Dana Carvey doing his Church Lady skit for that one)
Anyway, I was praying this morning tell Jesus that I believe, I trust, I love, but I want a deeper relationship with Him. I want to really know Him. I want a personal, intimate relationship with Him and really feel His presence in my life like a best friend, but then I realized Best Friend doesn’t quite mean what I want. I don’t want a God that I can hang out with, drink beer, howl at the moon and tell each other lies about the girls we dated. That’s absurd!
So, I had to think about what I do want in a relationship with Jesus. It came to me that it’s a 2-way street; what I want from Him and what He wants from me. Or to state it from the other side of the same coin, what He’s willing to do for me and what I’m willing to do for Him.
I know He’s done EVERYTHING for me; the whole Bible is the story of what He’s done for me! It also tells me what He wants from me, Love and obedience out of Love and Trust, not obligation. These are very BIG concepts and make me feel very far away from a close, personal relationship with Jesus. I understand them on an intellectual basis (as far as my mind can handle) but it’s hard for me to put this into a personal perspective.
I had to pull back a bit and ask myself “What do you want in a relationship with this God who did all this for you?”. That’s an idea I can handle, even without coffee. What I want is to know Him, really know Him, deeper than a best friend or even a brother. I want Him to be on my mind all day, and to be missing Him when I wake up in the morning and can’t wait to spend time with Him and I want to feel His presence like He’s physically here with me and can give me big hug when I’ve had a bad day and can guide me and give me direction on the best days.
Keeping in mind the He is God, I also want to be in awe of Him and worship Him and learn about Him and obey Him. I want Him to be God in this relationship so I can trust Him and know He’s got this, no matter what comes up, even if what He says to do seems illogical. I want Him to be the leader in this relationship. We’re not equals, and I don’t want Him to be my equal because I’m a mess, but I still want that intimacy from a one-on-one relationship. I want to feel like I’m the only one in the world when I’m with Him and feel His love for me and love Him and respect Him and worship Him. I want to be his Bride; both as part of the Church and as an individual. I want Him to be my Bridegroom and know that He loves me and can protect me and provide for me!
And then it hit me. BAM! This is what I want in my house, in my life, and in my marriage. I’m not saying my wife should worship me and obey me even when I’m illogical. (Well, maybe a little) I'm saying I want her to know that I do love her and will protect her and provide for her. I am her Bridegroom. I love her and will do anything for her, even die for her. I want a close, personal, intimate relationship with her and really know her and miss her when we’re apart. I want her to know I’ll give her a big hug when she’s having a bad day and I can guide her on her best day because I love her. I want her to know she can trust me because I trust Jesus. I want her to feel secure knowing that I’ve been appointed as the head of the house by Jesus, just as He is the head of the Church, and if I’m following Him it’s going to be OK, even when it seems illogical. I want her to know it’s a HUGE job and I can’t do it alone but with her and Jesus we can make it. The 3 of us are in this together and if we cling to each other instead of trying to do this alone it’s going to be alright.
I realize it’s my job to do all this for her just like Jesus, my Bridegroom, does for me. I must love if I want love. I must obey if I want to be obeyed. I must respect if I want to be respected. My actions and thoughts and feelings are my responsibility and I’ve been negligent. I can’t change my wife, but I can change and show her Jesus. She desires all these things from me so that she can trust me as her Bridegroom. She wants to know that whatever happens, I’ll be there for her just like Jesus is here for us. I need to be the Bridegroom to her that Jesus is to me!!!”
Anonymous Husband
My family, I pray that all you husbands and wives, and those of you considering marriage to another, have this same revelation concerning your marriage and spouse, in Jesus name. Please pray the same for me. God bless you my friends!
Please share your reflections from reading my friends email with me and others in the comment box below.
I could use your financial support for One Direction Community, my family, and those on the margins God has placed in my path I refuse to walk around. Please partner and support myself and One Direction community through setting up a monthly donation or a one –time gift by clicking the link below. Donation checks can be made out to ODC, PO Box 1293 Madison, Al 35758.