“You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit” (John 16:14-16)
As I have mentioned in other posts, I still work at Lowes one day a week on Monday evenings. I started working at Lowes in 2020 when Covid hit and the churches I pastored shut down. With no in-person services, Bible studies, or anything else, all I was doing was going in on Sunday mornings to record and stream a service then leave. So I applied at Lowes so I could still interact, talk to, and pray with the employees on the floor and in the breakroom, and the customers who came in which was much needed at that time. When Covid was over and I was going to leave Lowes, the store manager asked me to please stay at least one day a week to continue being there for employees and customers.
This past Monday evening while at work an employee came up to me and we began a conversation. He is going through some life struggles with his family and wanted someone to listen to him and offer advice. We talked for about 20 minutes. As we both went back to our departments he turned and said, “You know Gary, you are the only real friend I have.”
Also this week I went for a walk around my neighborhood. As I was walking I saw my neighbor outside working on his wife’s car. I walked up to see what was wrong and if I could help. While wrenching under the hood we had a conversation on life. As I was leaving my neighbor said the same words, “You are the only real friend I have.”
I have been reflecting on this and “a real friend” and “friendship.” I love the Lowes employee and my neighbor, as I try to love all people. However, as I stated I work at Lowes only one shift, Mondays 2pm-10pm a week. And during that one shift I see the employee several times as we cross paths at the store, and we may have a conversation for 15 minutes or so where we catch up on life. So I listen and talk to him only 15-20 minutes, one time a week, and he says I am the only real friend he has. The same with my neighbor. We see each other out in our yards, walking or driving down the street, and we really only talk once a week for about the same 15-20 minutes. And yet he again says “I am his only real friend.”
People today are starving for friendship. People interact all day on social media sights like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and others. They post videos, watch and read others posts, interact and post comments, and may interact with hundreds of people a day. However, they are still isolated and do not have a friend. These social media interactions cannot replace face to face, eye to eye, sharing of vulnerabilities, compassion, and real listening. Texting can not replace this either. Texting is great for short messages like, “Pick up a gallon of milk on the eay home.” Or “We are at the table in the back of the restaurant.” But texting cannot and does not honor deep and important conversations. I do not know how many times someone has sent me a long text on a situation they are going through wanting me to text the same reply that can’t honor their situation. I always reply let’s get together and talk or to please call me. And many times they do not.
Why are people these days afraid or uncomfortable with face to face conversations? They are far more comfortable and capable of communicating over their phone on social media and texts than over a cup of coffee or a beer. The millions of posts a day on social media shows there is a desire and a need in the heart of people to be seen, known, heard, and listened to, however true knowing of a person, a true eye to eye listening to a person cannot happen through a TikTok or a text. As with my personal interaction examples I shared above with my co-worked and neighbor. A 15 minute personal face to face conversation once a week is more connecting, fulfilling and needed to a person’s soul than hours spent daily on social media.
My family, I pray today you don’t pick up your phone to check on social media, but pick it up to call and check om someone to talk. I pray you don’t text someone unless to ask if they want to get together for coffee or a beer. I pray instead of spending your lunch break looking at your phone, you invite and spend it with a co-worker or classmate looking them in the eye and listening. I pray you understand that that 15 minutes of personal conversation is more impactful than hours of social media post, in Jesus name. Please pray the same for me. God Bless you my friends!
And I would gladly make myself available to you if you want to be listened to and talk over the phone or coffee or a beer. Email me at garyl@onedirection.community, FB message me at Gary Liederbach, and let’s work out a time.
Please share your reflections and prayers with us on this blog in the comment box below.
My wife Nancy and I are in a new season of our ministry of pouring completely into planting and growing simple house churches in our neighborhoods, and having “boots on the ground” serving in our community.. Please pray over this season in my life and that of my family. Please partner and support myself and One Direction community through setting up a monthly donation or a one –time gift by clicking the link below. Donation checks can be made out to ODC, PO Box 1293 Madison, Al 35758. Thank You Thank You!
